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Opinions all over the place

Warning: This post covers a lot of things and is lengthy, so don’t say you weren’t warned.

Disclaimer: The following opinions and beliefs are mine and mine alone and do not necessarily reflect the opinions or beliefs of my employer, EdenFantasys (or its employees), or that of our newly merged friends Liberator.

I watched Bridesmaids last night. The movie was all right, it had some good laugh out loud moments and Melissa McCarthy (Megan) was the funniest thing about it. However, the whole female friendship basis for the story did not resonate me. Two women (Annie and new Lillian friend Helen) awkwardly fighting for the attention of the bride-to-be (Maya Rudolph as Lillian)? Yeah, don’t get it. If these women were real, I’d probably only get along with Melissa McCarthy’s character. Kristen Wiig (Annie) is both a great comedic and serious actress. It’s in her eyes, her expressive face and the subtle shifts of her body. The woman is good. She was the second funniest thing about the movie. The brother (Matt Lucas) and sister (Rebel Wilson) with whom Annie temporarily lives with were fairly pointless and not that funny. Would I watch it again? I would but only to fast forward to the funny bits.

A couple things that irked me:

1. That Helen (Rose Byrne) was seen as prettier than every other female character. Annie herself felt this way. Honestly, I don’t think Byrne is all that attractive. In fact, I thought the other actresses were prettier. Well, except for Rudolph. I’ve seen it in other movies–the female character thought to be the prettiest is often not all that attractive. It’s odd. Apparently, tall + perfectly coiffed hair + way too skinny = pretty. Well, it doesn’t to me.

2. The idea that Helen was much skinnier than Annie. I mean, shit, Wiig is skinny. Byrne is taller, yes, but I doubt there’s even 10 lbs. difference in their weight. I understand suspension of disbelief and all that, but c’mon! Make it at least a little believable, OK?

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I wonder if the people who believe that a woman should never take measures to prevent being raped leave the doors to their cars and houses unlocked at all times and don’t have alarm systems. I mean, if their car is stolen or their house is broken into it’s not their fault, so why bother trying to prevent either of those things from happening? Preventive measures are so overrated anyway. *waits for the accusations of “victim blamer” to be hurled her way*

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Of course, having your car stolen or house broken into is not the same thing as rape, but you’re missing the point entirely.

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I haven’t been able to play my ukulele yet. Why? Well, first I discovered that the tuning nob for the C string would not stay in any position that I turned it to; it would just unravel. Second, when I foolishly thought I could try and fix it myself, I ended up unstringing the damn thing. I know, I probably should have returned the uke straight away, but I got distracted by and busy with work and life. I’m not sure if it’s still within the time frame for exchanging. Oy.

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Today I’ve been thinking about having children. I have numerous and very valid reasons for not having them, but I’ve always had a good mothering instinct and I still get hit with the desire to have one or two on occasion. This does not please me because it’s a ridiculously strong urge. Biological clock, you say? Meh. Maybe.

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I’ve been hearing a lot about cyber bullying lately, and while I agree it’s not cool, whatever happened to not engaging them? What about blocking their e-mails, their formspring questions, their messages and comments on your Facebook profile, etc. etc.? Whatever happened to just ignoring them and moving on? I dunno, maybe my suggestion is too simplistic, but I’ve always found cyber bullying to be much easier to handle and ignore than face-to-face shit.

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I am by no means a pacifist. I truly believe that some people deserve a physical beat down. Yes, that includes women. I’ve known enough women to not be naive enough to believe that there’s never a good reason to hit a woman, especially when they hit first. I don’t agree with or condone beating someone just because you can–that’s a completely different thing. Those who can’t make that distinction….well, that’s their problem.

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I expect some people will be outraged by things I have said in this post. Good thing I don’t give a fuck about their opinions or judgments. OK, that’s not entirely true because I do enjoy a good laugh. I tend to only pay attention to those people whose opinions matter to me. Notice I did not say “those who agree with me.” Some people just aren’t worth my time outside of some random rants.

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They’re so much “positive” shit being forced down people’s throats that I develop a sort of Tourette thing where I start barking out negative shit. Examples: “Dear fuck, that person is fugly!” “She needs to grow tits!” “Dear fuck, they are fat!” You know, things along that line. It’s a total reaction to the oppressive agenda that you should never ever say anything negative about a person. You should never crack a joke at someone’s expense. Bollocks, I say.

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Every community has a set of rules or expectations that you should adhere to if you belong to that community. If you don’t and you get called out for it, be mature and take it on the chin. No one is perfect and you most certainly are not. Life goes on.

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After Osama Bin Laden was killed, I saw Penn Jillette tweet something to the effect that killing is strictly a religious thing and that atheists do not rejoice in the killing of people or even approve of it. As an atheist, I can confidently say that he is wrong.

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I told you this was going to be a long post.

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I am forever torn between the strong desire to have another playmate and the apathy I have toward going through the process. Will this ever change? The world may never know.

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I am incredibly proud to work with the group of people that I work closely with at EdenFantasys: Carrie Ann, Laurel, Rayne, Kayla, JR, Sam, Kris, Gary, and Liz. And how could I forget the Mad Smatters? I am extremely loyal to and protective of all of them, which makes me hate the EF bashers even more. You’re fucking with good hard working people and that makes you an epic douchebag.

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I will terribly miss my former boss at EF, Victoria Bowman Steinour, but I am ridiculously happy for her and know that she will do great things with and for the awesome sex toy manufacturer, Tantus. Victoria, I am honored to be your friend and I love you.

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That is all.

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