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I work hard for my money

OK, I don’t work as hard as some people, but I work hard enough, especially for someone who hadn’t worked for many a year. But I can’t complain much. Working, grocery shopping, doctor appointments, and the other minutiae of every day life doesn’t leave a lot of time for other things. I do find a way to fuck off online at times. Probably more than I should. I wank only on weekends and that’s when I’m playing with T. I wank twice a week tops; only once if other shit is going on.

Obviously, this blog gets neglected as do my reviews. I’m think I might cut back to reviewing for just one company. I just don’t have the time or inclination to play with toys like I used to. Hell, I’ve played with only one of the toys from my big Eden Fantasys order. If I can get motivated, I should have a couple reviews written and posted later tonight.

My bro has gotten a job. We’ve been scrambling around trying to figure out transportation. It looks like we’ll have to rent a car, so now we’re doing the math to get money sorted for that while also allowing for groceries. Our bills might get paid a little later than usual. Oh, well. We should be okay.

Work is going well. I’m performing consistently well and my evaluations have been very good. However, there’s a constant risk of being laid off because the work isn’t always there. I think I’ve said it before, but my job is seasonal and contingent upon having available work to process. They already asked for voluntary lay-offs a couple weeks ago, and since not enough people volunteered, they’ve started laying off people based on their test score from training. Thankfully, my score was high and I’m doing so well. Still, once the work is gone, so is the job. And should my performance slip, I’ll be gone before the work is.

On the bright side, I applied with the company my bro will be working for and I’ve got a phone interview set up for Monday afternoon. It’s a permanent job with great benefits, so I’m hopeful. Also, it has a tie-in with my degree so that should be a help in getting hired. If not, at least my bro has a job. Naturally, I’d be more worried about it and about losing my current job if he was still unemployed. There’s still pressure just not as much.

I imagine things will be much better if my bro and I are working and we have a car, even if it will be a rental. We’ll eventually own one outright, dammit. We will.

I’ve picked up the smoking habit again. I started stressing out about the dwindling work at work and the lay-offs, so I reached for the smokes. Every time I think about quitting again, I find another reason to keep smoking. Also, the eating well thing hasn’t gone so great. I’m not giving up and I’m trying to not beat myself up over it. My coworker (let’s call her G) and I have not hit the gym yet because we don’t have the time. Her plate is far fuller than mine and fitting a trip to the gym hasn’t been feasible or enticing. I have been doing a lot of walking, though. On my last trip to our local Wal-Mart Supercenter, I walked so much my feet we’re killing me when I got home. And I was going on 3 1/2 hours of sleep and had to work a couple hours after shopping. I crashed hard when I got home the next morning. Oh, yeah.

I did something I was very proud of myself for on Thursday. I was concerned about a managerial decision that was made that unfairly affected my productivity. I stopped in the middle of work and approached my manager in her office. I calmly and respectfully laid out for her why I was upset and how I felt it was unfair. It wasn’t her decision but the higher-ups, and she thanked me for speaking my piece and that she’d keep fighting the decision. Ultimately, it’s not the end of the world if it remains in effect. However, I’m glad I had the courage to express my concern. I wouldn’t have done that pre-medication, at least not alone.

I’ve reached out to D. I knew he’d been reading my blog regularly, and it piqued my curiosity. After much hemming and hawing, I finally e-mailed him and asked why he continued to read my blog. He replied that he liked knowing I was doing fine and that he’d stop if I wanted him to. I told him he could keep reading. I don’t see the point in forbidding him from my blog. I then asked him how he’d been doing. As he always has, he’s working long hours. That boy is a working fool. But I remember him once saying the money is nice. I then e-mailed again and asked if it was okay with him if I checked in on him every now and again. I’m just waiting on word from him. Despite how upset I was during portions of our relationship and especially at the end, I realize that I still care about him and I can see us being friends. It’d be nice if he felt the same way. If not, no worries. That’s how the cookie crumbles.

I probably have more things to say, but I can’t think of them at the moment and this post is long enough already. So, that’s my lot for now. Keep an eye out for the reviews.

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2 Responses to “I work hard for my money”

  1. LivingFire says:

    It’s always good to try and maintain friendships where you can – it’s not always so easy straight after something ends, but sometimes given some time, it all feels a little better.

    I’m really glad to see your financial situation is going better these days – have got a couple of applications in myself and the Mr is looking very likely to get a job where he’s on placement – which is brilliant… Life’s so much better when you’re not panicking for money isn’t it?

    LF x

  2. Kristi says:

    Thank you. Yes, it’s very nice not panicking about money. lol

    I agree with you about maintaining friendships where you can. Hopefully this will be one of those situations.

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